Red vs Blue:What Are We Going to Do Now?
by The Mad Maiden
Summary: The teams in Blood Gulch have realized something horrible. For what ever reason they have no bullets! What are they going to do if they can't fight each other? And where did the bullets go?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-** Hello and welcome to my new Red vs. Blue story, first of all….

**Disclaimer: **I do not now (or will probably ever) own Red vs. Blue. It belongs to the guys at Rooster Teeth.

This story isn't really set after a certain episode. I hope you like my it, please read and review. Constructive criticism is always helpful and so it is welcomed but please no flames.

Enjoy

Red vs. Blue: What Are We Going to Do Now?

Chapter One: Why are all the Bullets Gone?

It was mid afternoon at Blood Gulch and the two teams had just realized something very distressing. A shoat was heard from both bases.

"**What happened to all the bullets****?!"**

----

At the Red base Simmons and Grif were arguing.

"How should I know?" Grif asked.

"But you just said—"

"I just said we didn't have any bullets, I didn't say it was my fault."

-

"What isn't Grif's fault?" Sarge walked over to the two soldiers, Donut behind him.

"Grif says were out of bullets, sir."

"How on earth can we be out of bullets?"

"I couldn't tell you sir….Grif?" Everyone looked at Grif.

"I didn't do anything!" Grif said backing away from the three soldiers. "Donut was the one who was supposed to order more!"

The glares were redirected to Donut.

"Uh, well it's a long story…."

Sarge sighed deeply. "Donut….why didn't you order more bullets?"'

"Well you see sir….there was a sale on bullets and that Vic guy said he'd give us a deal if we would take an older shipment and…. they never showed up."

"Why am I not surprised?" Simmons commented. Thinking about all the times Red Command had failed to do anything even remotely helpful.

"Well this sucks." Grif moaned. "How are we going to fight the Blues without bullets?"

"Simple, Scumbag. We're going to send you and Donut over to try to steal some of the Blues ammo." Sarge replied, pleased to have found another excuse to put Grif in danger.

"Brilliant plan sir!" Simmons piped in, to fulfill his daily quota of brown nosing.

"What? That's a horrible plan. We can't defend ourselves if we don't have any bullets. We don't even have any grenades because _someone _used the last of them for some weird version of baseball….Donut."

"Oh come on Grif you can't say you didn't like grenade baseball! It was a bomb! Get it a bomb!"

"Yes, yes very funny Donut. Now you two maggots get going." Sarge ordered.

"Fine." Sighed Grif, as there really wasn't anything else to do. He and Donut walked off to the other side of the canyon really hoping that the Blues wouldn't spot them and shoot them.

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At the Blue base Church was yelling.

"I said, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE BULLETS!"

"Calm down Church." Tex said walking into the base with the rest of the Blue team. "What's the problem?"  
"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" Church took a deep breath. "The problem is that we suddenly don't seem to have any bullets, ammo or any thing to use in a weapon at all!!"

"What's the big deal about that?" Tucker asked. "It's not like we use them much anyway."

Tex hit him on the head. "Idiot, the Reds will cream us if we don't have weapons!" She turned back to Church. "Do you have any idea where they are?"

"No idea. What about you guys?"

"No."

"No clue what-so-ever." Tucker drawled out.

"What about you Caboose?"

Caboose, who had been oddly silent for the last bit spoke up, happy everyone was paying attention to him.

"What about me?"

"Do you know where the bullets are?" Church said slowly, rolling his eyes.

"Hmmm…bullets…were they in a box?"

"Yes they were in a blue box!"

"Like that's a surprise." Tucker muttered.

"Oh, I saw the blue box!"

"Where is the box Caboose?"

"It was in the back of the base….."

"Yes…and!"

"And then I took the box and traded it with the Blue guy for another mystery box!" Caboose finished happily.

"Oh-my-God! What is wrong with this team?" Church moaned.

"Did the box have anything good in it Caboose?" Tucker asked hoping for more mayonnaise/ sunscreen.

"Yes! It had a toy boat, now we can play with it, in the water. We can be pirates!"

"Caboose, there isn't water around here for….actually I don't think there's water anywhere on this planet. Isn't that weird-- "

"The point is." Church interrupted Tuckers rambling. "That we don't have any weapons at all. So we're sitting ducks for the Reds if they decide to attack."

"Oh, I like ducks!"

"Shut up Caboose. I'm trying to think."

"You got it!"

-----

After 10 minutes of doing nothing the Blue team was searching the base for any spare bullets. Well Church was anyway. Tucker was doing the least amount of work as possible all the while complaining. Caboose had found a shiny quarter and was still sitting on the floor staring at it and Tex had given herself the job of keeping watch on the base.

"It just figures Shelia's away for repairs." Tucker said as he checked under the cushions of their battered sofa.

"Yah the one time we can actually get someone else to fix her. We need her back here. I hate this army." Church was searching under the TV with its bullet holes surrounding it. They were from when Tex had threatened to shoot the TV if they didn't do something productive. Church chuckled thinking about this, sometimes Tex acted like more like the leader then he did. Not that he cared, it ment less work for him.

"Found something!" Tucker piped up. "Oh wait never mind it's just the remote."

"Well I found something." Tex walked into the room marching Grif and Donut into the room with her gun pointed at her two prisoners.

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Well that was chapter one, oh I do love cliff hangers. Don't worry I actually have a plot in mind.

Thanks for reading I hope you liked it. Please Review!


	2. Ch:2When Negotiations Get Really Strange

**Disclaimer- **I am still not the owner of Red vs. Blue, Rooster Teeth does

**A/N- **Thanks to the people who reviewed the first part of the story. You guys rule! Please read and review.

Chapter Two: When Negotiations Get Really Strange

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At the blue base it was dead quiet. Everyone was staring at Tex and her two prisoners. Even Caboose had looked up from his shiny coin.

"Where did those two come from?" Church said breaking the silence.

"I found them outside our base. The pink one said they were here to steal our ammo."

"Wait a second Tex. How did you capture them if we don't have any bullets?" Tucker questioned.

Tex looked over at him and replied through clenched teeth. "They didn't know that. You asshole!"

"Oh….ha-ha..." Tucker backed away nervously.

"That's funny!" Donut spoke up. "We don't have any bullets either!"

"Blabber mouth." Grif muttered wondering if the Blues were going to keep them prisoner. He hoped they would because when Sarge found out the Blues knew they didn't have any bullets he was probably going to die. Of course if they didn't have any bullets then there wasn't much that Sarge could do. He cheered up considerably at that thought.

"So if both teams have no bullets…how are we going to fight?" Tucker questioned hoping this question wouldn't get him in trouble.

"We aren't." Church said sitting down. "How can we with no bullets?"

"Does that mean we can go back to our base?" Donut asked hopefully.

"Not a chance." Tex replied automatically bringing her gun up a little higher.

"Hey you don't have any bullets, you can't threaten us with an empty gun!"

"Dude" Church replied laughing from the couch. "You're talking to the most lethal soldier in this god forsaken canyon. She could kill you with a Popsicle stick if she wanted to or if she was in one of her usual bad moods."

"Thanks…I think." Tex replied as Grif and Donut shrunk back a little bit. "But what are we going to do with them?"

"I say we try to trade them for something." Tucker said. "Maybe they have money or something at their base."

"Sounds better then nothing. Let's go to the Red base then." Church said getting of the couch.

"Awesome, Road trip!" Caboose called out happily. The rest of the team used to his random outbursts ignored him. The Blue team marched their two prisoners out of the base.

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At the Red base Sarge was trying to get the Red command on the radio to order more ammo. He seemed to be having some trouble getting through the answering machine though. Simmons was standing watch on the top of the base. He was just wondering what was taking Grif and Donut so long when he noticed the group of people walking towards the base. Seeing who the group was Simmons called into the base.

"Sarge, the Blues are coming!"

Sarge came onto the top of the base. "Where are those Blue devils and what the heck are they doing here?"

"I don't know sir, but they have Grif and Donut with them."

Just then the Blues stopped within talking distance of the Red Base.

"Hey, Red's!" Church yelled out. "We have your soldiers! What will you give us for them?"

Simmons turned to Sarge. "Are we going to trade for them sir?"

Sarge thought over this deeply or pretended to. On one side they were outnumbered but on the other side Grif wasn't there. Being outnumbered won out. "Very well ask them what their demands are Simmons."

"What to you want for them Blues??" Simmons called out.

"What do you have?"

"Um….I think we have a turkey in the freezer."

Everyone was silent as the Blues discussed this.

"Nah, we don't want a turkey." Church called out. "Got anything else?"

"No not really."

More muffled talking.

"Fine we'll take the turkey."

"Okay Simmons will be out with the turkey in two minutes." Sarge yelled down. "If you feel compelled to shoot one of the prisoners shoot Grif."

The Blue team decided not to mention that this would be impossible for them without bullets.

------------------------------------

Soon Simmons was outside the base feeling stupid carrying out a turkey.

"Ha it's a turkey holding a turkey!" Tucker laughed at his horrible joke as they watched Simmons walk closer.

"Oh, shut up Tucker." Tex said giving him a whack on the head. "We're trading two hostages for a turkey! Am I the only one seeing how stupid this is?"

"Hey, we don't have that much here." Grif commented. "It was probably that or Donut's magazine collection."

"Hey, those are mine!" Donut replied. "They're also collectibles."

"Right….."

At that moment Simmons reached the team.

"Okay here's the turkey. Now just let Grif and Donut go. Though Sarge said he'd give you the option of keeping Grif."

"Nice to see you too Simmons." Grif replied sarcastically. "Let's just go back now."

"Hey wait." Tucker said. "If you guys don't have any bullets we could just take the three of you as hostages."

"You guys don't have any either." Donut said earning Tucker another hit on the head from Tex.

"What did I do?" Tucker exclaimed rubbing his head as no one paid him any attention.

"What do you mean they don't have any bullets Grif?" Simmons asked

"What do you think I mean?"

"I'm getting Sarge."

---------------------------------

Soon Sarge was there and the two teams explained the situation they were in. It took a couple of times before they gave up on trying to explain it to Caboose.

"Well this is weird." Church said breaking the silence that had fallen.

"I can't stand this!" Sarge burst out. "We have to do something!"

"Oh I know! We can have a fashion show!" Donut called out. "Or a bake off!"

There was another pause of silence.

"That's not a bad idea private." Sarge said after a while.

"Are you joking Sarge?" Simmons asked

"Think about Simmons. If we can't fight the Blues then we should have contests. That way we can prove that we can crush those Blue jackals."

The Blues were looked at each other.

"Um you know we're standing here, right?" Church spoke up. The Red's ignored him.

"Oh we should have a singing contest or a sewing circle or a cake baking contest, I love cake!" Donut chattered on cheerily. He was happy that his ideas were being taken seriously for once.

"So it's decided. We'll have some sort of contest in the middle of the canyon in an hour. Be there Blues or else!" Sarge said taking charge of the situation again. With that the Red Team walked back to their base. Leaving the Blue team standing out in the canyon holding a turkey…..

"What the hell was that about?" Church said voicing the entire team's thoughts.

...oh yah, they were really confused as well.

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Well I hope you liked the chapter. Before you ask I really don't know where the turkey came from. It just seemed weird enough. Anyway please review! Any suggestions for the contest in the next chapter would be welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3: And the Plot Thickens

**Disclaimer- **I am not the owner of Red vs. Blue, Rooster Teeth does. I am not making any money from this.

**A/N- ****Sorry for how long this took to get out! Also thanks for the people who reviewed! The plot actually starts to take shape in this chapter. It also has my very first OC's. So please read and review!**

**------**

Chapter Three: And the Plot Thickens…

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The Blue team was having a meeting at their base. Well they were trying to have a meeting. They had sent Caboose to put the turkey in the freezer when they had returned from the Reds. This simple task took a lot longer then necessary and soon Tucker and Church were trying to get Caboose's head out of the freezer again. So after half an hour of wasted time the Blue team got down to business.

"So are we going or not?" Tex asked annoyed at the three soldiers for taking so long.

"I don't see why we should." Tucker replied lying on the floor of the base. "I mean it's not like they can do anything.

"Yah, I hate to agree with Tucker but what's the point?" Church said.

"But if we don't go then the Reds will be mad." Caboose replied.

"And that's supposed to be a bad thing?" Church laughed. "Come on Caboose why should we care if the Reds are mad? I mean really what's the worst thing they can do to us if we don't show up?"

The room went silent as the team sat there thinking over Church's rhetorical question. Church rolled his eyes. Everyone was so god damned literal!

"If we don't go then the Red's will probably come over here and bug us." Tucker pointed out.

Church rolled his eyes again knowing that this was sadly true. "Fine we'll go. It can't be that bad"

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"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Church yelled after Sarge's explanation.

"Oh come on Church it's not that bad." Tex pointed out. "We have to win this!"

"You're just saying that because you're too freaken competitive." Church replied wincing as Tex punched him. "Bitch." He said rubbing his shoulder.

"Asshole."

-

"Okay," Simmons cleared his throat. "Now that we've got that pointless exchange out of the way, can we start?"

"I still don't get it!" Caboose spoke up. "What are we doing?"

"For the last time Caboose. We're running an obstacle course"

"Yah, this is stupid." Tucker said turning. "I'm leaving."

"Right behind you." Church and Grif said at the same time.

"Oh come on guys. We got ropes and tires and every thing!" Donut exclaimed happily. Then turning to his teammates. "This is going to be awesome!"

"Fine." Sighed Tucker. "But can Caboose not be on our team?

"Hey!"

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While the two teams argued they were unaware that they were being watched. Two soldiers were standing in the caves; one soldier had yellow armor and was chattering non stop. The other soldier had grey armor and was watching the Red and Blue teams through a sniper rifle, all the time trying to ignore the yellow one.

"—and then my mom came in and she was like who's he and--" The yellow soldier was interrupted.

"Ohio you have to be quiet. We're on a stake out!"

"Sorry Carolina."

Carolina gritted her teeth. It was bad enough she was being forced on this stupid mission but being stuck with Ohio was a fate worse then death. At least if she was dead it would be quiet. She looked back to the canyon. "Zeta what can you tell me about this place?"

Her AI popped up. _"Blood Gulch is a small box canyon. There are two bases located on either end. A Red base and a Blue base. Both are currently at war with each other and -"_

Ohio interrupted. "Ha they won't be doing much fighting without any bullets!" Carolina rolled her eyes. She knew Zeta was doing that same. "Continue Z"

"_Thank you Carolina. As I was saying they are currently at battle with each other. Each team has four soldiers now that Tex is there. Both teams are considerably low risk except for Tex."_

"That's for sure. Thanks for the info Z." Zeta went back into her armor and Carolina went back to watching the teams and trying to figure out what the hell they were doing. What ever it was it involved a lot of yelling and rope. She couldn't make out Tex though. Deciding to kill two birds with one stone Carolina turned back to Ohio.

"Ohio, go and figure out where Tex is. Report back to me as soon as you know and….don't get caught."

"I know, I know." Ohio said carelessly as she started walking down to the canyon.

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Both Red team and Blue team by that time had gotten fed up with Sarge's obstacle course. They didn't have half the stuff they needed, actually they just had some tires and some rope. Also Sarge kept trying to work Grif's death into part of the plan. So after a lot of yelling and threatening people with ropes both teams were just sitting on the ground.

"Well that was a waste of time." Tucker said watching Caboose run around waving a piece of rope in the air. "Remind me again. Why did we do this?"

"I have no idea….oh wait, that right. Tex wanted to win." Church glared at Tex who ignored him.

"Oh I know!" Donut piped up. "We should play a game!" When he was greeted by silence he took that as encouragement. "Okay will play hide and go seek. I'll be it and count to 100. Okay go." Donut closed his eyes and started to count. The rest of the soldiers just looked at each other.

Sarge who hated doing nothing spoke up "Move it soldiers. Tactical training is just what we need."

"It's not tactical training Sarge." Moaned Grif. "It's a kid's game."

"When I say hide private, I expect you to hide, not give me lip. Now move! That's an order." Simmons and Grif got up complaining.

To the Blues surprise Church got up too.

"Dude, where are you going?" Tucker asked. "You're not really playing hide and seek are you?"

"Of course not. I'm going back to our base."

"Oh well in that case wait for me."

Tucker got up and was soon joined by Tex as well as Caboose and soon the Blue team was on its way back to base.

The Red's ignored them as Grif went to hide back at the base where there was food. Simmons and Sarge went to find hiding places as well. Donut was still counting.

"….98…99…100! Ready or not here I come!" Donut finished counting and looked up. He was completely alone, or so it seemed anyway. He started to look around the canyon.

-

Then he noticed that there was a soldier dressed in yellow walking towards him

"Hey!" The yellow soldier called out. "I'm looking for Tex. Is she around here anywhere?"

"Ummm, I think she's with the Blues." Donut said unsure who this soldier was. "Um who are you?"

"Oh my names Gri--I mean Ohio!"

"O…kay. Well we're playing hide and seek if you want to help. I'm sure Tex is around here somewhere!"

"Awesome!" Ohio said happily. Completely forgetting she was supposed to report back to Carolina. "I used to play hide and seek with this guy all the time. At least that's what I told my boyfriend we were doing."

"Right…wait what?"

---

Donut decided they should check the Red base first. They found Grif there eating Oreos.

"Okay you found me. Now go away!" Grif said without looking up.

"Hey Grif, I found a new person!" Donut exclaimed happily at that Grif looked up just as Ohio was talking.

"Your name is Grif too! That's so cool, I mean my name's Grif but everyone calls me Ohio. Probably because it's my codename."

"Wait…" Grif said realization spreading over him. "Sis, is that you?"

"Dexter!!" Ohio ran over to hug Grif who tried his best to escape. "I haven't seen you in forever. What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here! What are you doing here? This is my base and you need to leave now!"

-

"What in blazes is going on here?" Sarge said walking into the room. He was followed by Simmons. It turns out that all the Red's had been hiding in parts of the base.

"My sister's here. Ohio this is my team…sadly."

"Ohio?" Simmons said. "What kind of name is Ohio?"

"She was in some weird program. That's her code name. Well it was nice to see you sis but now you have to go."

"But I still haven't found Tex! Carolina said I had to find her!" Ohio realized she might have said a bit too much. "I mean…have you seen her?"

"Well all the Blues went back to their base." Simmons pointed out. "She's probably still there. Why do you have to find her anyway? And who is this Carolina?"

"Um no time to talk. I've got to go now! See you Dexter!" Ohio ran out of the base.

-

"Well that was weird." Donut said breaking the silence.

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"What took you so long Ohio?" Carolina was sitting in the shadows waiting.

"Oh long story but I found out Tex is at the Blue base!" Ohio said as she came over. "And I saw my brother! He's in the other base!"

Carolina sighed. "Ohio please say you weren't talking---oh never mind I don't care. Right now we have to call in an update. Zeta can you get a transmission to the ship?"

"_Right away."_

The radios of both soldiers crackled to life as Zeta patched them through.

"This is Agent South Carolina is anyone reading?"

"Hello?" A man with a British spoke from the radio. "Ah Agent's Ohio and Carolina. Have you any news?"

"Where is he Wyoming?" Carolina said through gritted teeth.

"Why Carolina I have no idea who you are talking about." Wyoming replied goading Carolina

"Who do you think I mean. Where is York? You said that if I went on this stupid mission you'd let him go."

"I said I'd let him go once you've completed the mission. Right now he's safely locked up on the ship."

Carolina was about to get Zeta to patch her through to York when she thought better of it. "Fine. We have Tex's location."

"Good. Bring her to the ship and will talk then. Cheerio!" The radio crackled off.

"Ugh, I hate him!" Carolina muttered then turned to Ohio. "Ohio, you stay here and….watch the red base."

"Why?"

"…Because it's very important…for the success of this mission. Right Zeta?"

"_That is correct Carolina."_

"Okay." Ohio went to watch the base from a better spot.

--

"_Carolina." _Zeta spoke up once Ohio was gone. She sounded confused. _"Why did you send Agent Ohio away?"_

We can't risk her telling Wyoming our plans. Ohio babbles without thinking, she could betray us by accident."

"_So what is our plan?" _

"We're going to find Tex." With that Zeta faded out and Carolina headed to the Blue base.

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**A/N- ****Well I hope you liked this chapter. ****As you might have ****guessed I changed Sister a bit. As she is in the special forces and is called Ohio. But aside from that she's still as annoying as usual. As for Carolina you may remember that in episode 93 when Tex is talking about York, Church asks her if Carolina was there. Thats where I got the idea for her. Also they're not in the future so I can explain why Carolina isn't dead. **

**Please review and tell me what you think. **


	4. Chapter 4:Meetings

**Disclaimer- **Despite my best efforts (doing nothing) I still do not own Red vs. Blue! Rooster Teeth does.

**A/****N- Really sorry about the wait. Also I have someone call Tex, Agent Texas in this chapter. This is not a mistake, I know that's not her real code but in ****Out of Mind ****that's what Delta calls her so I'm sticking with that. It's easier then calling her Nevada and everyone getting confused. Remember to read and review!**

Chapter Four: Meetings

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Carolina was outside the Blue base. She couldn't see anyone and assumed they were all inside. From her information she knew that most of the soldiers in the canyon weren't that motivated, in words lazy. She easily snuck into the base and found herself what looked like a kitchen.

She was just about to start looking in the rest of the rooms when Zeta (inside her helmet) warned her of two people coming into the room. She turned around just in time to see two soldiers walk into the room.

-

Walking through the door Tucker stopped in his tracks. "Hey who are you?"

Carolina quickly pulled up her gun. "Don't move."

Caboose recognized the voice and exclaimed suddenly. "You're the guy I traded the bullets with! Hey why aren't you blue anymore?"

Tucker whirled towards Caboose. "What did you say?"

"I said—" Caboose started but was interrupted by Carolina. "I said don't move." She pointed her gun at Caboose. "Back up against the wall and don't say anything or I will not hesitate to shoot you."

"You are a mean person." Caboose sulked but moved towards the wall.

"Yah," Tucker replied then a thought struck him. "Hey you're a girl! Want to go out with me?"

Without saying anything Carolina fired a shot above Tuckers head. He backed up quickly. "I'll take that as a no."

"Okay now listen closely. I'm looking for Tex and you're going to tell me where she is now!"

"How the hell should we know?" Tucker protested. "And who are you anyway? Why should we tell you anything?"

"Yah!" Caboose agreed. "Are you an alien?"

Ignoring Caboose, Carolina muttered to herself. "Damn."

-

At that minute Church came walking through the door. "What was that shot? Don't tell me Caboose found a bullet and used it to shoot himself…." He trailed off as he saw the soldier in the room. "Okay….who are you and what the hell are you doing in our base?"

"Yah and pointing guns at me and Tucker!" Caboose called out. Church rolled his eyes. "Nah actually I don't really care about that part. By the way if you feel like killing someone you could do us all a favor and kill the Red's. That would make our job much less stressful. But seriously, who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm looking for Tex."

"Well look no further." Tex called out as she walked into the room. "Who's looking for me and why should I care?" She stopped in her tracks when she came into the room. "Carolina is that you?"

"Yes. Though someone…" Carolina glared at Church. "doesn't seem to have quite a good memory as you."

"Hey, it's been along time…wait what are you doing here Carolina?"

"Okay." Tucker said looking around the room. "Someone has to tell me what's going on!"

-

Church sighed. "Fine. This is Carolina she was in the same program Tex was in. She's one of Tex's friends."

"Tex has friends?"

Tex turned to Carolina. "Can I borrow your gun?"

"One condition." Carolina replied warily. "You don't still have….Omega do you?"

"No, he's gone. But why were you looking for me Carolina? Last I heard was that you were still working with York."

"We were. He was off on a job when I was contacted for some information." Turning to Tucker and Caboose, Carolina exclaimed for their benefit. "I'm an information gatherer. If you want to know something I can always find out….for a price. This time however the person looking for information was someone I never wanted to see again….Wyoming."

Tex's head jerked up. "What! What did he want?"

"Well he wanted to know where you were. When I told him to drop dead…well he didn't take it to well."

"Wait a second." Tucker broke in. "If he wanted to know where Tex was why didn't he look for her himself?"

"Because he's a lazy bastard." Church replied.

"Anyway." Carolina continued. "When I said no he captured York. He said that if I didn't help him capture Tex he'd kill York. I need your help Tex."

"I'm in." Tex replied. "Where's Wyoming now?"

"In his ship, a little ways from here. He has York on the ship as well. Oh and guess who else is here."

"Who?"

"Ohio."

"Oh my god! Why are idiots attracted to this planet?" Church exclaimed. He'd spent plenty of time with Tex when she was in the Special Forces and he knew how annoying Ohio could be.

Just then Zeta popped up. "_Carolina. The tracking device you put on agent Ohio indicates that she has entered the Red Base."_

Carolina sighed. "Oh well Zeta I guess she's their problem now."

"Wait a second." Tex exclaimed moving back slightly. "Why do you still have your AI? I thought everyone had theirs removed."

"Yes, well most of them were. However some of the AI's didn't malfunction. York still has Delta and I still have Zeta. A few others still have theirs but not many."

"How do you know they won't turn mean?" Caboose spoke up.

Zeta turned towards him. _"It is against our programming."_

"Like that stopped the other AI's." Church muttered.

You couldn't see but you could tell Zeta was glaring at Church.

"Anyway." Tex said breaking the silence. I need the plans to the ship do you have them?"

"Yes, Zeta if you will…" A hologram appeared and they began to study the plans.

-- --- -- --- -- ---

At the Red base Ohio was looking for her brother.

"Oh Dexter! I know you're here somewhere!" She was walking into the kitchen when she heard something behind her. She turned to find Simmons. "Hi!"

"Oh it's you. What are you doing back here?"

"I'm looking for Dexter. Have you seen him?"

"Oh he's hiding in the pantry there." Simmons pointed to a door a couple feet away from her.

"Thanks a lot!" Grif protested. When Ohio opened the door he fell onto the floor. "I thought I told you to go away!"

"Oh come on Dexter! You don't really mean that."

"Oh course not. I'm only repeating it over and over because I have nothing else to do."

Completely missing the sarcasm Ohio asked. "How come you guys aren't fighting the Blues then?"

"Because we don't have any bullets." Simmons said.

"Oh yah … I forgot me and Carolina took them…" Ohio trailed off.

Simmons stared at Ohio. "I'm…I'm going to get Sarge now. Don't let her leave Grif."

"Oh great." Grif moaned as his sister started talking happily again.

-- -- -- -- -- --

Once the entire Red team was assembled in the kitchen Sarge started to question Ohio. "Who are you working for?"

"What are you talking about?" Ohio asked.

"You took our bullets therefore you must be working with some scumbags to kill us. It's the Blues isn't it? "

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You guys are crazy!"

Grif sighed, if he wanted this to end anytime soon he knew he'd have to step in. He interrupted both Sarge and Ohio. "Okay I'm only going to do this once." Sarge and Ohio were still arguing but Simmons and Donut looked over at Grif.

"What you're actually going to do some work?" Simmons scoffed.

"Actually yes. Now watch and learn how you get my sister to do things. "Hey sis!"

Ohio turned her head. "Yah Dexter?"

"You know what would be something fun?" Grif was talking in a falsely cheery voice that was slightly scary. "Why don't we go find the bullets? It'll be like an adventure!"

"Okay!" Ohio perked up. "They're in a cave, come on!" She started to run out of the base as the team stared at Grif. He shrugged. "What can I say? She's insane. Now hurry up, I'm not doing that again."

With a shrug Sarge walked out of the base and the rest of the team followed.

-- -- --- --- ----

After completely running around in a circle for about half an hour the Red team made it to the mouth of the cave.

"Wasn't that fun Dexter!" Ohio said, she had been talking non-stop the entire time and the only one who had continued to respond to her was Donut.

"Man that was awesome!" Donut exclaimed. "I love adventures!"

"Just show us the bullets." Sarge interrupted what was sure to be another rambling spell.

"They're over here." Ohio ran into the cave. "I got them…."

The Reds sighed and followed her in.

"Here they are! Hey the box's are empty! Hey guys where'd you go?"

Hearing footsteps the Red team had quickly hid behind a large section of rocks.

"Ohio who on earth are you talking to?" A British accent rung through the cave as Wyoming walked in.

"There's no one here." Ohio looked around the cave.

"I can see that. Why aren't you with Carolina?"

"…..she didn't need me?"

Wyoming sighed. "That I can believe."

"So can I have it back now?" Ohio asked all serious now. "Please. I got us here and I think better with him so I'll stop asking so many questions. Please!"

-

"What is she talking about?" Donut whispered from behind the rock.

"I have no idea." Simmons whispered back. "Grif?"

Before Grif could say anything though Sarge interrupted. "Quiet you two. He'll hear us."

-

Luckily Wyoming didn't hear them as he was being annoyed by Ohio's pleading.

"Please….please….please……."

"Oh for the love of….fine here you go." Wyoming handed Ohio a small device.

"Awesome!" Ohio exclaimed as she quickly but the device into a part on her helmet. Once she did a small hologram popped up.

"Kappa!" Ohio exclaimed happily. "I missed you."

"_Hello Ohio. I'm happy to see you as well. I hope my absence didn't cause you any problems."_

"Not really, that idiot Wyoming made me fly him somewhere but aside from that…."

She was caught off by Wyoming. "Well now the two of you are reunited will you please go wait on the ship. I'm sure Carolina will be back soon."

"Okay!"

As Wyoming left the cave Kappa turned to ask Ohio. _"Are you really helping Agent Wyoming capture Agent Texas?"_

"Not really. I just flew us here and I'm flying us off again to wherever he's taking her. Oh...I guess that means I am. Dang, I don't want to help Wyoming, Kappa!"

-

Just then the Red's came out of their hiding spot.

"Is he gone?" Donut asked looking around.

"Yah." Grif replied. "Sis what is that?" He pointed at Kappa.

" He's my AI! Kappa meet my brother Dexter."

"_Nice to meet you."_

"What a second." Simmons interrupted. "I thought that those things were evil."

"Some are, Kappa isn't."

"Oh well….now what?"

"It's simple." Sarge replied. "We have to stage a daring raid on Wyoming's ship and steal back the bullets. Then we'll beat the Blues in a glorious battle!"

"Not that that doesn't sound exciting." Grif spoke up sarcastically. "But don't you think we should just get command to send us more bullets?"

"Nonsense. This way is particularly more dangerous. We may even lose a man. So Gif get ready!" Grif rolled his eyes as Sarge continued. "You, Ohio will lead us there so we can reclaim our bullets."

"_Ohio this sounds a little dangerous." _Kappa spoke up worriedly.

"Well what's the worst thing that could happen?"

**20 MINUTES LATER**

"Well this sucks." Grif spoke up. The Reds were all in jail cells on the ship. "I hate you Donut."

"What did I do?"

"Oh I don't know maybe going up and asking Wyoming's guard for directions!!"

"Well…I didn't know it was him."

Grif sighed. Why of all people was he stuck with Donut?

"I wonder where Sarge and Simmons are." Donut asked looked around. Simmons, Sarge and Ohio were taken somewhere else when they were put in the cell.

"Probably in the jail cell on the other side of the ship." A voice spoke up from the darkness.

"Who's there?" Donut exclaimed looking around.

"Name's York." The soldier came into the light. His armor was a tan colour and he had a slight limp. "Welcome to the most boring place in the world."

"Nah, I think we just left there." Grif countered.

York laughed. "Well then welcome to the second most boring place. How did you guys end up here?"

"We were trying to sneak onto the ship to steal back our bullets when Mr. Bright-idea here asked Wyoming for directions."

"Oh smooth move."

"Hey!" Donut exclaimed. "I didn't mean to."

"Well you're in now. Here's a tip, don't go kicking the door. The bars are electrocuted. I found that out the hard way." He rubbed his leg.

"I'll keep that in mind." Grif said as he sat down on the floor. "Well what are we going to do now?"

"Well Wyoming made a deal with a friend of mine, Carolina. If she captures Tex he'll let me go."

"Like that'll work." Grif scoffed. "That mean chick's so tough it's scary. She's such a bitch."

"Hey!" York said moving forwards. "Watch what you say. Tex is a friend of mine." The sudden movement hurt and he clutched his leg. At that moment an AI popped up.

"_York, I thought I told you that continual movement of your leg would injure it even more."_

"Yes Dee." York sighed as he sat back down. "I'll be more careful. Hopefully Tex and Carolina will be here soon."

"You actually think this Carolina could capture Tex?" Donut asked.

York replied cryptically. "Maybe." He knew Carolina would get Tex to help her try to break him out. He didn't want to say anything though incase Wyoming overheard. He settled back in the cell and went back to trying to think of escape plans.

--- --- --- ---

**Well I hope you liked the chapter. Be nice and leave a review! **


	5. Chap 5:How Come No One Noticed the Ship?

**Disclaimer: Still don't own red vs. blue.**

**A/N- I'm really sorry for how long it took me to update….what else can I say? Oh yah it's a little shorter then my last chapter.**

**Now that that's done please read, review and most of all…enjoy!**

**Chapter Five: How Come No One Noticed The Ship?**

The Blues were going over their plans in the Blue base.

"Now the first thing we have to do is get the bullets Ohio and I stole." Carolina was saying. "That way we'll have the number advantage."

"Then we disable the security and get York." Tex smirked. "It'll be easy."

Tucker rolled his eyes. "Yah….okay why don't you and Tex go? We can stay here, and not get shot at by a crazy bounty hunter."

Tex glared at him and then looked over at Carolina. "We don't need them Carolina."

Carolina surprised every one. "Yes we do Tex." This caused Church to look at her warily. The only times he'd ever been in any plan of Tex, Carolina and York they tended to use him as a …..

"You want us to be distractions, don't you!" Church burst out.

"Oh, I want to be a distraction too!" Caboose exclaimed, clapping his hands then pausing.  
"What's a distraction?"

"No, no, no, no." Tucker said quickly. "I refuse to be a distraction. It's against my contract."

"You don't have a contract Tucker." Tex said.

"Yes, but if I did have one, it would say I can't be used for distractions."

"That makes no sense what so ever." Carolina scoffed. "You're going to help us and that's final."

The room went silent while the soldiers thought it over. Well Caboose was still trying to figure out what a distraction was.

-

"Fine…" Church sighed. "We'll do it. Just don't make the distraction too embarrassing."

Tucker looked at him oddly. "What are you talking about?"

Church shuddered, remembering bad memories. "Trust me dude, you do not want to know."

"Good now come on. The ship is only a short walk from here." Carolina said, ignoring Church.

-- --

The Blues walked out of the base making sure to bring their empty weapons with them. As they walked over out of the gulch they slowly made their way to the ship using the many rocks as cover.

"Really though." Tucker was saying to Church. "You think we'd notice the ship there. I mean you could see it from the canyon." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Why would Wyoming put it there?"

"Because he's an idiot." Church put simply.

"You really don't like him do you."

-- --

Caboose was talking to Carolina. Though talking may not have been the right word.

"Now, are we there yet?"

"For the last time Caboose, no!" Carolina said through clenched teeth. "We're almost there. You can see the ship from here." She turned to Tex who was walking beside her as Caboose ran over to pester Tucker. "Please can I kill him?"

Tex laughed. "Sorry, I think I heard Church say we were keeping him around in case we run out of food."

"Ahhh, idiot soup."

"Exactly."

-- -- --

After circling around the back of the ship the Blue team located the entrance to the ship.

"Ok, so now what?" Tucker asked as he stared at the door.

Again Carolina rolled her eyes. "I already told you. You Tex and Caboose stay hidden while Church and I distract Wyoming."

"Oh…I knew that."

"Sure you did. Now hide!"

Tucker went to hide behind the large rock formation where Tex and Caboose already were.

-- --

Carolina waited a few minutes for Tucker to hide. Then she went up to the door's intercom and pressed a button on it. Chiming bells started to play _Rule Britannia._

"Why am I not surprised." Church muttered.

"Uh yes hello? Who is it?" A British voice came from the speaker.

"Who do you think it is?" Carolina replied, making no effort to keep the hatred from her voice but resisting the urge to add idiot to the end of her sentence. "It's me. Open the door."

"Very well."

There was a buzzing noise and then the door opened and the ramp unfolded. Carolina grabbed Church's arm roughly.

"Hey!" Church exclaimed. Carolina turned to look at him.

"You are pretending to be my prisoner Church. I'm not supposed to be being nice to you." She muttered.

Church moaned as they walked up the ramp. "Oh yes this isn't embarrassing in the least."

As the got in the ship and just _happened _to leave the ramp down Carolina laughed. "Please. You've done worse."

"Yah and I blame you and Tex for that."

"Really." Carolina rolled her eyes.

Church was about to say something sarcastic when they walked into the room they had been looking for.

--- ---

Wyoming was standing in the room.

"Where is Tex?" He demanded quickly.

"She wasn't there." Carolina shrugged. "I guess my information was wrong."

Wyoming looked at her suspiciously. "Your information is never wrong Agent Carolina."

Church laughed. "That's not what you said when shehad information about you. I guess you really do sleep with a pink teddy bear."

Wyoming glanced over at him. "Why did you bring this buffoon?"

Ignoring Church, Carolina replied. "I didn't think you'd believe me. So I brought Church to confirm my story."

"Please. You think I'd take his word?" Wyoming laughed. "How do I know he isn't lying to hide his little girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Church exclaimed. "And she isn't here. She's probably off hunting O'Malley or something."

"Perhaps…" Wyoming said thinking things over. If Tex wasn't here, it would ruin his plans.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tex, at the moment was really starting to wonder why they hadn't left Tucker and Caboose at the base.

"Give me that!" She grabbed the map out of Tuckers hands, after they had turned down three wrong hallways. "We're looking for the weapons room not the mess hall, idiots." She muttered under her breath.

Tucker just mumbled something about chicks and getting lost.

-

They walked into a room when all of a sudden they heard a shoat. "Hey Tex!!"

Tex groaned and looked up to see Ohio in what looked like a jail cell. "Ohio, what are you doing there?"

Ohio smiled and started chattering happily. "Wyoming stole my AI and didn't give him back to me unless I flew him here and then--"

"No" Tex quickly interrupted. "Why are you in a cell?"

"Oh, that's because Wyoming caught me and the Reds sneaking into the ship."

"The Reds, where are they?" Caboose asked looking around.

"Well two of them are in the room across from here but really..."

Tex rolled her eyes as she went over to the corner of the room where the bullets were stored. Quickly she loaded her weapon and took extra rounds. Tucker and Caboose followed her lead though they had to pull a crayon out of Caboose's gun first for some reason.

"….and I told Wyoming that he shouldn't lock me up because …." Ohio was still talking merrily unaware that no one was listening. However as Tex and the others started to leave Kappa popped up.

"_Agent Texas, it would be most appreciative if you would help Ohio and I out of here."_

Tex groaned. "Another AI? Well I don't know Kappa." She walked over to the cell and examined the lock then laughed. "Never mind this is simple." After a few minutes she had the door open.

Tucker snickered. "Wyoming should get some better locks."

Ohio stepped out. "He said he uses this cell to lock away idiots." She laughed, not realizing she was insulting herself. Caboose laughed as well while Tex and Tucker just rolled their eyes.

"Oh now we have to go find the Red's." Ohio said just as the Blues were trying to leave. Tex stopped and looked back at her ready to say no but then thought better of it. "..Sure Ohio why don't you and …..Tucker go and get the Reds."

"What!" Tucker exclaimed. "No way! Send Caboose."

"Fine." Tex snapped. "We don't have time for this. Caboose you go."

"Awesome!" Caboose exclaimed. "Let's go save the Red's!!"

Ohio and Caboose walked out of the room and Tex heard Kappa ask worriedly. _"Are you sure this is such a good idea Ohio."_

_--_

"Well at least Wyoming will be preoccupied with those two." Tex muttered. "Come on Tucker we have to find the security system so we can unlock the cells."

"Can't we just go and unlock the door from the outside?" Tucker moaned. "This seems like too much work."

They made their way down the hall. "No, Carolina said the cells in this ship are designed to be opened from the security room. That last one was just luck. Now hurry up, Church and Carolina can only distract Wyoming for so long you know."

Tucker muttered but hurried up.

--------------------------------

**A/N- Ah! I knew it was a mistake to separate them. Too many subplots forming! **

**Status**

**Grif, Donut and York**-Locked in a cell

**Caboose and Ohio**- Looking for the Reds

**Church and Carolina**- Distracting Wyoming

**Tex and Tucker**- Looking for security room

**Sarge and Simmons**- Another cell

**There that should clear things up. If I get complaints I won't do it and the end of the next chapter though. **

**Well , I hope you liked this chapter, again sorry for the wait. But review and tell me what you thought! **


	6. Chapter 6:Power Outage

**Disclaimer****- The last time I checked I wasn't working for Rooster Teeth. Therefore I don't own Red vs. Blue in any way. **

**A/N- Not much to say, just read, review and enjoy!**

**Chapter Six: Power Outage **

The room was completely silent as Church watched the two soldiers glaring at each other. They were both wearing helmets but somehow you just knew they were glaring. He sighed, standoffs like these could take awhile. However they were distracting Wyoming, which was their plan in the first place.

The silence was broken at last by Wyoming.

"Very well Carolina. We must look for Tex somewhere else then."

"No." Carolina replied angrily. "I did what you wanted, so let York go."

Wyoming laughed at this for a while before the room was sent into silence and the two were glaring at each other again. Church rolled his eyes and found himself a seat. This distraction was boring.

--

"You know, I'm pretty sure that isn't going to work." Grif called out from the floor. He was sitting there watching York attempt to escape….again.

Delta popped out at that moment. _"Yes York, it seems highly unlikely that you will be able to reach through the bars without electrocuting yourself."_

"Yes, thank-you Dee." York rolled his eyes. He was attempting to reach out through the bars but he wasn't getting very far. "If I can just reach that panel." He said to himself, referring to the lock mechanism that was keeping them in the cell.

"Yah well you can't." Grif replied lazily. "It's much easier to accept your fate. I know I've given up." He paused for a moment then went on dramatically. "It can only get worse."

Donut looked at Grif. "Oh come on Grif, what's the worst thing that can happen?"

Just then Ohio and Caboose walked into the room. "There you go." Grif said. "It got worse."

-

"Hi Dexter!" Ohio shouted out happily. Then she turned back to Caboose. "I think we went the wrong way Caboose."

"But those peoples are red." Caboose replied pointing.

"But we saw other Red people, remember?"

"Let's go find them!"

Happily the two oblivious soldiers walked back out of the room. Ignoring, or not hearing the people in the room.

"Oh come on guys." Donut called after them. "Let us out."

"Between the two of them I still don't think they could figure out how to get us out." Grif replied. He still hadn't moved from the floor.

York grimaced as his arm came in contact with the bars again. It didn't hurt as much as it would have if he didn't have his armor but it was still painful. He pulled his arm back. He'd have to think of a different plan.

-------------

Caboose and Ohio were trying to find the room Ohio had seen the Red's in. So far they had managed to become hopelessly lost.

"Do you think that we should have gotten those Red's out?" Caboose asked.

"Nah," Ohio said waving her hand. "My brother's there, he can get them out."

"Sure…." Caboose said slightly confused. As far as he could tell those Red's weren't getting out anytime soon.

He was distracted as they had walked into the room they'd been looking for.

-

"Ohio, Caboose" Simmons said amazed. "What are you are you doing here!"

"We were looking for you!" Ohio said happily. The room went into silence before Sarge spoke out angrily.

"Well then get us out of here!"

Caboose looked over at Ohio. "How do we do that?"

"I don't know, I thought you would."

Simmons groaned, who in their right mind thought that Caboose would know anything? "We're doomed."

Just then the lights went out.

----------------------

"For the last time yes, I know what I'm doing." Tex said through gritted teeth. She and Tucker had finally found the control room and she was in the middle of trying to turn off the cameras. Unlocking the cells would be a good start too.

"All I'm saying is that you're going to blow us up." Tucker said looking suspiciously at the wires Tex was fiddling with.

"Well I will if you don't shut up!" Tex rolled her eyes as she continued to disconnect some wires. "There." She connected two blue and red wires together.

The lights in the ship suddenly went out. "Shit"

"What did you do that for?" Tucker asked looking around the now dark room. "Wyoming's going to notice!"

"I didn't do it on purpose you idiot!"

In a couple of minutes the lights came back on. "There." Tex said, and then she looked back at the wires. "We're done."

"Finally." Tucker got up from leaning against the wall.

"It's not like you did anything. Now hurry up Wyoming's bound to have noticed the power outage."

"Yah and whose fault was that?"

Tex stopped and pointed her gun at Tucker. "I have bullets now."

"…and now I'm leaving." Tuckers said quickly getting out of the room. He almost didn't notice that Tex was going a different way down the hallway. "Hey wait up Tex!"

She didn't slow down but he did manage to catch up with her. "Where are we going now?"

"We're looking for York. He should be in a cell somewhere." Tex said, looking at the map.

"What about Wyoming?"

"Oh Carolina and Church will have to distract him."

"How are they going to do that?"

"I have no idea." Tex replied carelessly. "They'll figure something out."

----------------------------------

"What the hell?" Church exclaimed as the power came back on. "What happened to Wyoming?"

"He's distracted." Carolina said simply.

Wyoming was out cold on the floor. Church was still confused.

"I knocked him out with my gun." Carolina displayed her gun as evidence as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh…but how are you going to find out where he has York?" Church asked.

Carolina paused. "Damn."

-- --------------------------------

"Donut…for the love of God. Stop screaming, the lights are on now!" Grif yelled at the shrieking soldier.

"Oh…." Donut stopped yelling and opened his eyes. "I knew that."

"Sure you did."

York rolled his eyes. "And I thought the soldiers in the Special Forces were strange." He was talking to Delta. "These guys are insane."

"_Yes, they are rather odd." _

York got up off the bench and went over to the cell door. He looked at them closely. "Hey Dee, do these bars look different to you?" Before Delta could say anything though, York touched the bars.

When nothing happened York smiled and reached his arm out through the gap in the bars. Safe as it was no longer electrified. After a few minutes he was able to deactivate the lock. It would have taken him less time but the constant bickering of the two Red soldiers was distracting.

Opening the door he stepped carefully out. For all he knew Wyoming could be coming any minute. He needed to get himself a weapon.

Just then his helmet radio came on. "York can you read me? This is Agent South Carolina calling for-" York quickly cut her off. "Yes, Carolina I hear you." He listened to Carolina talk some more. "So, Wyoming's unconscious now?"

Donut and Grif had discovered that the door was open and had walked over to where York was standing.

"Oh who are you talking to?" Donut asked, not at all curious how they had gotten out.

"Come on Donut." Grif said. "We better get out of here before that Wyoming guy comes back."

"Ok, we can go find Simmons and Sarge."

"That's sounds like fun." Grif said sarcastically as they walked over to the door. He stopped talking as there were two soldiers standing in the doorway.

--

"I told you I'd find him." Tex told Tucker once she'd spotted York.

"Yah, yah." Tucker replied. "Can we go now? I'm bored." He then noticed Grif and Donut. "Hey what are you Reds doing here?"

"Us?" Grif replied innocently. "We're just leaving…come on Donut."

The two Red's quickly got out of the room before any more Blues could show up.

"Tex and someone else is here now Carolina." York was talking on the radio. "Ok, we'll wait here." He turned off his radio after a second and turned to Tex. "Hello Tex. Long time no see."

"Hello York." Tex smiled. "I see you got yourself in a little trouble."

"I did get out." York retorted.

"How'd Wyoming capture you?" Tex asked curiously.

"The bastard snuck up on me."

"On the left?"

"Yes" York replied bitterly.

"What are you guys talking about?" Tucker asked, confused.

"It's a long story." Tex responded before turning back to York. "Okay, so are Carolina and Church meeting us here?"

"Yah." York replied. "She said she's knocked Wyoming out and her and Church locked him in the room. It should take him a while to get out."

"Good," Tucker said tiredly. "Then we can go back to the base. This is taking too long."

Just then there was a noise at the door and the three soldiers turned to see what caused it.

----------

"Ah, hah." Sarge proclaimed, happy they had surprised the Blue's. "You Blues are both surround and outnumbered." He walked into the room followed by Simmons, Grif, Donut and Ohio. "We even have one of your men, prisoner." Sarge laughed as Caboose walked in.

"Hi guys!" Caboose exclaimed happily as Tex and Tucker said at the same time.

"Caboose, you idiot."

-- -- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Well I hope you liked the chapter! Remember to leave a review and tell me what you thought. **


	7. Chapter 7:One Way Ticket

**Disclaimer- Still don't own Red vs. Blue. Believe me, if I did, there'd be more episodes out. **

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews! I hope you like the chapter. **

Chapter Seven: One Way Ticket 

Tex rolled her eyes as she looked around the room. "Caboose get over here, now."

"Okay!" Caboose replied merrily and started to walk over to Tucker and Tex. "This is so cool. They said I was a prisoner! I always wanted to be one of those!"

"Caboose, shut up." Tucker said.

"Hey you can't just steal our prisoner." Simmons protested. "Give him back."

Tucker turned to Tex. "Tex, this is our chance to get rid of Caboose for good. Let the Red's have him."

"Am I the only one wondering why we're fighting over Caboose?" Grif asked leaning against a wall. "I mean really….it's Caboose. We should let them keep him as and as punishment they can have Donut too."

"Hey!"

"Shove a stick in it dirtbag." Sarge replied to Grif's comment. "We have them surrounded. There's nothing those Blue jackals can do now."

"Um what's going on?" Church and Carolina had just arrived behind the Red's.

"Okay we're outnumbered. Can we go back to the base now?" Grif asked.

"We are the Red team soldier." Sarge yelled. "We do not retreat."

Tex fired a shot over his head and he hastily continued. "But we do however make tactical withdrawals. Back to the base men!"

"Hey wait for me!" Ohio exclaimed running after her brother. "Isn't this awesome Dexter? I can stay with you now."

"Please someone just shoot me now." Grif's voice came drifting from the hallway.

…

"So where's Wyoming?" Tex turned to Church once the Red's were gone.

"Oh, he's locked in a closet without his gun." Church replied. "Carolina knocked him out."

Tex looked over at Carolina who was talking to York. "Good. But what are we going to do with him?"

"We could shoot him." Church suggested hopefully.

"Nah, that's too easy."

"You're passing up the opportunity to shoot someone?"

"What do you mean by that?" Tex shot a glare at him.

"Nothing, nothing!"

"Oh I know!" Caboose broke into the conversation. "Let's put him in a closet!"

"Caboose he's in a closet." Tucker sighed.

"Oh." Caboose thought hard. "Then let's put him in….another closet!"

"NO CABOOSE!" The three soldiers replied warily.

"Fine." Caboose replied sulkily and then went over to annoy Carolina and York.

Church turned when he heard someone laughing and discovered it was Tex.

"Okay…what's so funny?"

"I have an idea." Church could have sworn he could see the evil grin on her face through her helmet.

--

"So again. What are we doing?" Tucker asked staring at the panels on the ship's control panel.

"Were turning on the autopilot." York replied as he was connecting wires together.

"Were sending Wyoming as far as this junk heap will take him." Carolina laughed.

"Good." Church replied. "Though it would have been easier if we had just shot him."

"Yes but this way he could starve to death. Like anyone else if they get left on the ship." Tex replied. "What?" Everyone was looking at her….nervously.

"I think I'll wait off the ship." Tucker remarked quickly. For all he knew Tex could be planning to leave him on the ship.

Ironically the rest of the Blue team seemed to be thinking this and soon Tucker, Church and Caboose were all waiting outside.

"That got rid of them." Tex smirked as York rolled his eyes.

……

"There that should do it." York said after a moment. "He's now on a one way trip to…." He looked over at Carolina who was looking through the maps.

"Sidewinder."

"Okay, we have ten minutes." Tex checked the timer that was set up.

"Let's get out of here."

-- -- --

"Can we leave now?" Tucker complained as they stood outside the ship.

"We're waiting for Tex." Church replied while ignoring both of his soldiers.

"You wait, she's your girlfriend."

"For the last time! She's not my girlfriend!"

"You two broke up again!" Church turned quickly to see Carolina walking with York and Tex out of the ship.

"Ha, told you. You owe me lunch." Carolina gave York a push.

"Damn." York muttered.

"What are the two talking about?" Church asked looking at the two soldiers suspiciously.

"Nothing." Carolina said a little too quickly.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"Come on guys! Let me in!" Ohio was pounding on the door of the Red base. "This isn't funny. I want to join your team!"

"_Um…Ohio." _Kappa popped up. _"I don't think this is intended as a joke."_

"Oh of course they're joking Kappa. My brother wouldn't lock me out on purpose."

"Yes, I would." Grif called out from the top of the base. "And I did. GO AWAY!"

"Oh, come on!"

"Oh just let her in already." Simmons said walking over with Sarge.

"No. She's not coming in."

Unfortunately for Grif, Sarge was struck by a sudden idea. "Wait. If she joins our team then we'll out number those Blue jackals!" He turned to Grif. "Open the door for our new recruit."

"Fine." Grif muttered walking down.

"And order some more bullets too."

"Whatever"

---------

"Hi Dexter!" Ohio said happily. "Can I join your team?"

Grif sighed this was not going to be fun. "Sarge says you can."

"Awesome!"

Grif rolled his eyes, just when he thought Blood Gulch couldn't get any worse.

-------------------------------------------------

The Blue team was watching the ship fly away.

"Do you think he even knew that thing had autopilot?" Tex asked. "I mean he wouldn't have to have Ohio around to fly and annoy him all the time."

"What can I say?" York laughed. "Wyoming is an idiot."

Tucker, now that the danger of him getting left on a ship had passed was doing what he did best. Hitting on people, and so on their way back to the Blue base…

"Oh come on."

"I told you if you don't shut up I'll shoot you."

"Hey what's going on?" York asked walking over.

"Nothing much. This idiot keeps hitting on me." Carolina pointed to Tucker.

"Hey, stay away from my girlfriend!" York frowned at Tucker.

"What! No one told me that." Tucker decided that it would be best for his health if he got away quickly.

….

"How come you didn't tell me she was dating someone?" Tucker asked Tex when they were in view of the base.

"I was hoping one of them would shoot you." Tex said calmly while Church laughed.

"Hey guys!" Caboose came running up from the base. "There's a ship there and Shelia's back!!"

"Hey maybe we can get a ride out of here." York said as he and Carolina walked over.

……

"_Hello everyone. It is good to be back." _Shelia was off the ship now.

"Shelia, I missed you!" Caboose exclaimed happily trying to give the tank a hug.

Tex and Church were on the hill saying goodbye to York and Carolina.

"Watch out for Wyoming, Tex." Carolina said.

"Like he could do anything." Tex scoffed. "That guy's pathetic."

"Hey, he captured me." York protested.

There was a silence and York rolled his eyes. "Never mind. See you Tex, Church. Good luck fighting the Red's…or whatever you guys do here."

"You mean nothing." Church muttered as the two soldiers walked into the ship.

"Church, Church!" Caboose called from the base. "Have you seen the muffins I made Sheila?"

"No." Church replied.

"Oh, the muffins in the fridge?" Tucker walked over. "I ate those."

"You do realize that Caboose put motor oil in those, right?" Tex asked him.

"Eh, they weren't that bad." Tucker shrugged as he started to walk down to the base. "Come on Caboose. Let's go make some more muffins."

"Okay, Shelia will love them!"

Church rolled his eyes. "Looks like things are back to normal."

"They're idiots." Tex scoffed.

"Yah but they're our idiots." Church put his arm around Tex's shoulder.

"Bow-chicka-wow-wow" Tucker popped up from behind them.

"God damn it, how do you do that!" Church shouted at Tucker who was laughing. "I knew it!"

At least he was until Tex grabbed her gun. "Get back here!"

Soon Church was watching Tex chase Tucker around the base, shooting at him. There was also smoke coming from the kitchen where Caboose seemed to be trying to cook a package of flour.

Church chuckled. Yes things were definitely back to normal.

--- --- --- --- ---

**Well I hope you all liked my story! I had alot of fun writing it.**

**Please review and tell me what you thought of it. **


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